my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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