it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
