Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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