i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
