I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
