Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Everything about him screamed your future.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
