We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
