We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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