He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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