So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
