She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
