Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
