I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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