Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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