i was rollin on her like bob the builder
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
