I'm laying in your front yard are you home
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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