uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
