I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Randomize
