Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
