4 words: hood of his car
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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