I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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