How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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