Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
