when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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