Well apparently he's into motor boating.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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