just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
