Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Randomize
