You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
