Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
