Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
