I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
