id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
My ass is underappreciated
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
