i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
