How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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