Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
