I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
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