dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
There was a lot of him and a little penis
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
