He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I feel like a drive thru vagina
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
