so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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