yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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