would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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