Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Small penises have feelings too.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
