I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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