Christians are straight up FREAKS
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
