omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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