he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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