If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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