Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
