Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize