It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize
