what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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