dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
