the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
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