Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
