Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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