I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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