in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
