I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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