It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
