she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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