I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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