i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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